If you’re anything like me (which I suspect you might be if you’re reading this) then you’ll occasionally find yourself creating expectations for yourself and the way you think you should be living your life.
Sometimes we consciously set these expectations in the belief that they will get us something that we’ve decided we want or need. Sometimes they have been pre-programmed during our formative years and have become ingrained in our beliefs system. Sometimes we’ve been convinced by society or the media that we need to be or behave a certain way in order to be successful/popular/cool/a good person.
Here are some of the ‘have to’s’ which crop up regularly for me:
- I have to have something interesting to say
- I have to have an opinion
- I have to know what I’m talking about
- I have to be confident
- I have to be fun
- I have to be funny
- I have to make other people feel good
- I have to be liked
- I have to post on social media every day
Of course it’s great if I can do or feel any of these things but do I have to?
And certainly not, without fail, on a daily basis.
The problem with the ‘I have to’ way of thinking is that there is no flexibility, no room for manoeuvre, no space for an ‘off day’. And if we don’t meet these pre-determined expectations, for whatever reason, then it seems really difficult to feel good about ourselves.
So what ‘I have to’s’ might you be holding on to right now? What rigid expectations are you trapping yourself within?
And if you can join me in thinking that you don’t ‘have to’, what changes?
Could you relax into being ok with the way things are? The way you are?
Could you redirect your attention to what’s really important to you?
Could you allow yourself to be fluid, to ebb and flow with much more ease as you work with your daily energy quota and the inevitable curve balls which this crazy life will throw at you?
Could you let yourself be imperfect and a bit vulnerable – and perhaps create better connections with others as a result?
Could you free up your both your precious time and invaluable headspace to be more present, more aware and more appreciative of the simple things that you already have?
Could you feel more free?
However, perhaps there is one exception. Perhaps there is one ‘I have to’ which we can all keep……
….I have to allow myself to be human.
Hey there, in case you didn’t know, I’m Hana and I could be your Personal Mindset Coach.
I’m occasionally known to my clients as ‘the lovely stranger’.
I’m here to help you see things from a different perspective, to choose a different lens, to find different ways of thinking, being and doing – so that you can get out of your head and just get on with living a bloody great life.
If you’d like some support exploring this or other fascinating things about you further, then drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, and we can arrange a cuppa some time to find out if we might like each other enough to work together.
If you like what you’ve read and want more then how’s about downloading my free ‘Where’s your head at?’ ebook – get it right here.
Take care and keep enjoying the journey.