As some of you will know (or may have worked out), I became single several months ago and now feel ready to write this post about how important connection has been to me in the last few months.
It seems that, for some people (aka me), it can be easy to lose yourself in a relationship. To place a lot of attention on it. To let it mean a lot about who you are and how your life is. For it to, unconsciously, distract you from other important things.
I don’t, in any way, regret my recent relationship. I’m glad that it happened. And I’m glad that I’m now single.
It taught me an awful lot and I’m certain it has moved me a giant leap closer to being the best version of me and perhaps a lot closer to meeting someone who will wholeheartedly embrace that me and vice versa.
Within a week or so of my relationship ending, I had my insights about gratitude:
- that I believe what everyone says about it being a great way to boost your mood and shift your perspective;
- that a gratitude journal or ‘thinking’ gratitude practice doesn’t seem to work for me;
- that I love taking snapshots of silly little/big things that happen in my day.
From here, #gratitude365 was born.
Connected in gratitude
I’ve committed to capturing one visual image each day (from 1 Sept 2017, today is day 90 in case you’re interested) of something for which I’m grateful and which I would, otherwise, likely have forgotten about in a year’s time.
And, quite to my surprise, lots of people have enthusiastically joined me on this journey. Not everyone is posting every day and some people aren’t posting at all, just observing. And that doesn’t matter a jot because I know we’re all getting benefit.
When I began this project I was just curious and up for giving it a go. If I’m honest, I wasn’t actually sure if it would achieve the desired result of making me feel more genuine gratitude for my life and all that’s in it.
Turns out, I had no idea.
But, I digress (as per usual). This post isn’t about gratitude. It’s about connection.
Taking responsibility
Within a few days of my relationship ending, when I was feeling very free and excited, I had a slightly scary premonition that at some point I would hit a wall and be at risk of sliding down the slope towards my familiar acquaintance, depression.
I wanted to take responsibility for this. I realized that the greatest risk was going to be at the point when my ‘news’ became ‘old news’.
When the supportive whatsapp messages would stop flooding in. When the newness of living alone again might shift from feeling liberating to lonely. When the fantasy of all the charming men that were waiting for me online transmogrified into the reality of ‘the festering carcass of mediocrity’ (those are the words of a man I’m going on a date with tomorrow!).
And, after exactly two weeks, that day did happen. And then that day was over and I woke up the next day feeling good again.
#result
And life since?
I feel like I have different energy, lots of things have shifted. I feel like a very authentic version of me again. And, in particular, I feel a much stronger connection to people.
To the friends who have totally stepped up alongside me.
To my parents who have really shown their amazing colours.
To the new people who have entered my life as I’ve had so much positive energy to put towards work, my interests and lots of new opportunities.
And, in #gratitude365, I’ve been experiencing connection in quite a new way – between strangers, most of whom have never met in person and know very little about each other.
My day is peppered with lovely people commenting on things I’ve posted, engaging with people about what they’ve posted and witnessing them chatting to each other without any encouragement from me!
They have made me laugh, (almost) cry, they have given me ideas, they have inspired me, touched me and made me feel part of something quite special.
The connection hole that might have been left behind after the end of a relationship has, in many ways and rather unexpectedly, been filled with all these like-minded strangers.
Oh and a smattering of dating! 😉
Final thoughts
Connection is, quite obviously, very powerful.
More than that though, for me, being the conduit for connecting people is super satisfying.
I absolutely love connecting people who have things in common. I love sharing information about things that I think are exceptional so that other people can enjoy them too.
I’d like to find a way to do more of this (answers on a postcard please).
Social media gets a pretty bad rap these days – one of my favourite sayings is….“nothing good comes from comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides”.
However for me, over the last few months, social media has been a fantastic way for me to fully express myself again and, most importantly, to have had oodles of connection with people I don’t know and who, quite magically, ‘get me’.
Hey there, in case you didn’t know, I’m Hana and I could be your Personal Mindset Coach.
I’m occasionally known to my clients as ‘the lovely stranger’.
I’m here to help you see things from a different perspective, to choose a different lens, to find different ways of thinking, being and doing – so that you can get out of your head and just get on with living a bloody great life.
If you’d like some support exploring this or other fascinating things about you further, then drop me an email at [email protected], and we can arrange a cuppa some time to find out if we might like each other enough to work together.
If you like what you’ve read and want more then how’s about downloading my free ‘Where’s your head at?’ ebook – get it right here.
Take care,
Hana
